Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Randomize
