Texts From Last Night

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  (845): View more from New York

  At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.

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  (845): At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare. http://tfl.nu/jdv9
  Replies (21) Good night (615) Bad night (1810)
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  (909): View more from California

  how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?

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  (909): how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close? http://tfl.nu/7d45
  Replies (33) Good night (505) Bad night (4068)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.

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  (307): mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her. http://tfl.nu/aq8k
  Replies (11) Good night (6576) Bad night (980)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick

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  (727): Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick http://tfl.nu/5e6v
  Replies (17) Good night (1081) Bad night (10009)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.

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  (702): She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note. http://tfl.nu/7aam
  Replies (9) Good night (4689) Bad night (780)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?

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  (616): Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately? http://tfl.nu/0g6n
  Replies (18) Good night (7673) Bad night (880)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.

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  (267): he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice. http://tfl.nu/aht5
  Replies (14) Good night (5141) Bad night (950)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.

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  (727): well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up. http://tfl.nu/6z0c
  Replies (6) Good night (1630) Bad night (999)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar

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  (614): Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar http://tfl.nu/rsss
  Replies (3) Good night (1570) Bad night (654)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS

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  (859): well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS http://tfl.nu/hivl
  Replies (4) Good night (1243) Bad night (489)
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.

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  (434): We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them. http://tfl.nu/odfm
  Replies (4) Good night (1138) Bad night (465)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door

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  (336): We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door http://tfl.nu/uhw2
  Replies (4) Good night (484) Bad night (1097)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  You texted me a picture of your face along with #help

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  (410): You texted me a picture of your face along with #help http://tfl.nu/jxdb
  Replies (2) Good night (750) Bad night (380)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy

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  (701): All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy http://tfl.nu/indb
  Replies (5) Good night (362) Bad night (546)
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.

  (214): View more from Texas

  That's our motto every night.

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  (469): Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT. (214): That's our motto every night. http://tfl.nu/q8qi
  Replies (1) Good night (737) Bad night (233)

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