Texts From Last Night

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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.

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  (610): C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues. http://tfl.nu/dcql
  Replies (5) Good night (1422) Bad night (517)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie

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  (941): I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie http://tfl.nu/ovq9
  Replies (16) Good night (887) Bad night (1420)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.

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  (816): you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell. http://tfl.nu/74j4
  Replies (30) Good night (943) Bad night (3747)
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  (331): View more from Illinois

  You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.

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  (331): You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open. http://tfl.nu/k0dm
  Replies (13) Good night (5543) Bad night (1295)
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  (619): View more from California

  DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES

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  (619): DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES http://tfl.nu/9dpy
  Replies (23) Good night (5018) Bad night (587)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  nevermind....I'm on the way

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  (814): dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high (808): worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave (814): nevermind....I'm on the way http://tfl.nu/dzeu
  Replies (70) Good night (10342) Bad night (1017)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well

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  (757): I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well http://tfl.nu/14t6
  Replies (7) Good night (4487) Bad night (1276)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently

  (540): View more from Virginia

  and skipped dinner

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  (540): 3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently (540): and skipped dinner http://tfl.nu/igda
  Replies (22) Good night (1151) Bad night (4543)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me

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  (503): If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me http://tfl.nu/4si1
  Replies (8) Good night (3296) Bad night (964)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki

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  (250): I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki http://tfl.nu/rhok
  Replies (14) Good night (2916) Bad night (1075)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.

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  (907): I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks. http://tfl.nu/ytg5
  Replies (2) Good night (938) Bad night (449)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.

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  (215): There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut. http://tfl.nu/e6c8
  Replies (2) Good night (1488) Bad night (512)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.

  (1+61): View more from

  Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.

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  (+61): I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover. (1+61): Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer. http://tfl.nu/so7s
  Replies (5) Good night (1646) Bad night (652)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.

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  (563): smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never. http://tfl.nu/qbl5
  Replies (6) Good night (388) Bad night (657)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.

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  (734): My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet. http://tfl.nu/i7lx
  Replies (5) Good night (481) Bad night (609)

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