We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
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