Texts From Last Night

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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.

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  (937): Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes. http://tfl.nu/4vss
  Replies (16) Good night (688) Bad night (2211)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"

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  (608): and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM" http://tfl.nu/3pco
  Replies (26) Good night (1704) Bad night (7457)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet

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  (303): Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet http://tfl.nu/rdc9
  Replies (17) Good night (939) Bad night (2683)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...

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  (806): A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal" (501): Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him... http://tfl.nu/wsps
  Replies (15) Good night (6165) Bad night (952)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock

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  (609): Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock http://tfl.nu/dnop
  Replies (6) Good night (4899) Bad night (1290)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.

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  (502): If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was. http://tfl.nu/20o3
  Replies (6) Good night (3752) Bad night (941)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance

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  (484): I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance http://tfl.nu/sui0
  Replies (6) Good night (684) Bad night (1408)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.

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  (701): I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this. http://tfl.nu/2wr9
  Replies (1) Good night (1560) Bad night (673)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed

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  (562): well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed http://tfl.nu/ggi5
  Replies (13) Good night (2181) Bad night (727)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.

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  (417): Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week. http://tfl.nu/s5do
  Replies (1) Good night (615) Bad night (865)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.

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  (563): I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks. http://tfl.nu/3sv0
  Replies (3) Good night (1736) Bad night (490)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups

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  (720): Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups http://tfl.nu/s3s5
  Replies (5) Good night (2395) Bad night (499)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.

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  (215): you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out. http://tfl.nu/raqc
  Replies (5) Good night (1048) Bad night (471)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head

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  (925): After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head http://tfl.nu/8zj4
  Replies (4) Good night (1030) Bad night (354)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis

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  (770): His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis http://tfl.nu/4skm
  Replies (6) Good night (549) Bad night (462)

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