Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.