Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.

  (1-847): View more from Illinois

  with a sacreligious after taste.

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  (847): It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut. (1-847): with a sacreligious after taste. http://tfl.nu/wzar
  Replies (7) Good night (2310) Bad night (795)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.

  (1-270): View more from Kentucky

  I'm jealous

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  My throat feels like a candle.

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  (270): T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English. (1-270): I'm jealous (270): My throat feels like a candle. http://tfl.nu/vpw9
  Replies (31) Good night (7828) Bad night (998)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.

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  (913): sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train. http://tfl.nu/vfk6
  Replies (24) Good night (11756) Bad night (1427)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.

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  (516): Never again will we have slut saturday. Never. http://tfl.nu/croh
  Replies (13) Good night (6365) Bad night (1737)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.

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  (505): Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming. http://tfl.nu/efp8
  Replies (4) Good night (978) Bad night (2623)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?

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  (847): I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control? http://tfl.nu/c36m
  Replies (10) Good night (1093) Bad night (2402)
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  (619): View more from California

  The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?

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  (619): The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!? http://tfl.nu/uvtx
  Replies (5) Good night (2175) Bad night (871)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.

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  (314): I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property. http://tfl.nu/21gv
  Replies (3) Good night (1402) Bad night (660)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?

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  (405): Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream? http://tfl.nu/ecpk
  Replies (17) Good night (1805) Bad night (679)
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  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG

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  (857): HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG http://tfl.nu/zv8v
  Replies (6) Good night (657) Bad night (963)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water

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  (330): ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water http://tfl.nu/dbl8
  Replies (0) Good night (587) Bad night (321)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself

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  (775): He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself http://tfl.nu/55fu
  Replies (3) Good night (340) Bad night (898)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.

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  (773): she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho. http://tfl.nu/fmz4
  Replies (0) Good night (566) Bad night (292)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.

  (541): View more from Oregon

  We need to stop going to pet stores high.

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  (541): I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone. (541): We need to stop going to pet stores high. http://tfl.nu/99st
  Replies (1) Good night (536) Bad night (381)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.

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  (314): THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN. http://tfl.nu/ja1s
  Replies (3) Good night (482) Bad night (419)

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