need another drink. this is the easiest way
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
