Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
