My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
