He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
