just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
And then he peed in my hair
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