I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
