thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
