Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
