what day is it and did you see me today?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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