I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
