FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Randomize
