I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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