I bet he comes in French.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
