every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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