new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Randomize
