More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
