oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
