My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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