im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
