oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
not ubering you a puppy
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
