How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
