i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
