Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
