whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
My day in three words: secret purse cake
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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