I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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