return my video game
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
