I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
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Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
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The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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