my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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