ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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