Swine flu. Run for my life!
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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