i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
