1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize