Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
