i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
