he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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