i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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