She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Randomize
