Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
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I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
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i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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