i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize
