you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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