So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
