Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
