somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
