some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
