Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
