Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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