Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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