you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
