I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I wish i was in the wii world.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
My vagina just clenched in fear
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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