in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
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