I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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