My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
she smelled like a LAN party
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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