He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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