My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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