i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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