Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
